Since we talked about 7 Conversation Starters That Actually Work last time there has been an overwhelming response by you guys out there for us to do an article about how to end a conversation. I have my fiancé Dorian joining me again as we go over the 5 ways to end a conversation.
The goal is to end the conversation gracefully and to not be patronizing to the person you are having a conversation with.
1. “It was nice to meet you”
or “It was great chatting with you.” This is called the roadblock. I use this one constantly whenever I’m in a conversation I want to get out of, or the person is not allowing me to talk in a conversation or are just rambling.
2. “I’m just going to go say hi to the host. It was nice to meet you.”
3.“Have you met…”
If someone I know comes by and I want to get out of the conversation, I’ll grab them, introduce them to the person, let them say their pleasantries and then excuse myself and just never come back.
4. “I’ve got to X, but it was really great chatting with you.”
You can say anything from – grab another drink, grab some food, or use the restroom.
My articles and videos almost always center around a specific piece of clothing or accessory, so I thought it would be fun to switch it up and talk about 3 head-to-toe foundational outfits every guy needs. Once you have these 3 outfits, you can build an entire wardrobe around them. And here’s the beauty of them: from these 3 outfits, you can switch things in and out to add your own personal touch and truly make them your own.
If you’re thin to average build, you can also wear a white t-shirt. However, if you’re a broader man that’s not in shape, and you decide to take off your jacket, then a white t-shirt will actually spotlight how big you are (and not in a good way). Also, the reason why you want to go with black chukkas is because black is the dominant color in your jacket. I went with leather chukka boots over suede and lace-up boots because the latter options won’t look appropriate for every season.
A bomber is a very stylish, modern alternative to a blazer that works in almost all the same occasions and looks great for every man, regardless if you’re a teenager all the way to a retiree. A younger gentlemen in high school or college, for instance, wouldn’t necessarily need a blazer, so that’s why I’m not recommending it over a blazer. If the occasion does call for a sport coat or blazer, in a pinch, you can use the jacket in my next recommendation and dress it up like I did in the picture below.
I’ve been getting a lot of emails and requests to do a video and article about how to clean your dirty sneakers so here it is. This method is for your canvas, leather, and knit/woven sneakers (like your Ultraboosts or Flyknits).
Give your sneakers a wipe down with a cotton or microfiber towel to remove any loose dirt on the surface. Paper towels also work, but they’re wasteful – hopefully you agree :).
3. Remove & Clean Laces
Remove the shoelaces if they’re dirty and/or the tongue needs to be cleaned. Be sure to wash your white shoelaces with a load of your whites (if you use bleach or not) on the hottest water setting and let them air dry. For colored laces, you can add them to your colors while washing, preferably in cold water.
4. Scrub The Sneaks (duh)
Dip your brush in water, squirt some cleaning liquid on it, dip back in the water again, and then shake off any excess water. Start scrubbing the sneaker all over – midsole, upper and tongue (if necessary). You really want to work up a lather. You can always use a toothbrush for those hard to reach areas like on the tongue in the video above.
5. Wipe Them Down
Using your cotton or microfiber towel, wipe your sneaker to remove the foam/dirt. If you’re cleaning your Flyknits or Ultraboosts, you’ll want to use a dab and twist motion on the woven/knitted surface to soak up any moisture like I highlighted in the video above. That’ll ensure you don’t fray the material.
6. Let Them Dry
Now let the shoes air dry for a few hours, re-lace them and you’re good to go!
I want to talk about the Top 4 sneakers for 2017. These are 4 sneakers I highly recommend if you’re looking to put together an intentional sneaker collection that’ll cover you for some of the different aspects of your life. For example, working out, traveling, or just needing an everyday, lifestyle sneaker.
4. Nike Flyknit Racer
This is a great athletic sneaker because it weighs practically nothing and the woven upper makes it very breathable. Also, these are a great lifestyle sneaker that you can wear with your casual clothes because the design is so minimal and it has a very sleek silhouette.
I love the minimal design of the UltraBoost. The knit upper makes it very breathable too. You can treat these as your everyday sneakers or make them your running/workout shoes because they’re super comfortable.
This one will be on my list every year until something better can replace it.
These are a great lifestyle, everyday tennis shoe. Also, they’re not expensive and relatively easy to keep clean if you give them a wipe down every week or two and don’t go hiking in them. Remember, women look at your shoes for an indication of what type of man you are. Clean white shoes = this dude’s got his shit together.
Notably absent in my list are basketball sneakers because those are for a very specific group of men out there who either play basketball or are crazy sneakerheads. Some guys can pull them off really well, while others end up looking immature and silly in them.
There’s a lot of misconceptions and confusion out there about what women find attractive in a man and how they define a “good looking” gentlemen.
Right off the bat, I want you to understand that none of these tips have anything to do with money or being physically attractive. So for all of you poor saps out there who like to use that as an excuse, it’s complete bullsh*t and really isn’t that high on the list for any quality woman.
6. Smile more and often
People are attracted to friendliness – it instantly makes you more approachable and likable.
5. Stand up Straight
It opens your body up and makes you look confident, inviting, and your shoulders and chest look wider which women love because it signifies strength. Poor posture projects a message of lack of self esteem, which isn’t attractive to most women.
4. Workout or be physically active
Keeping yourself healthy physically also keeps you in better mental shape. People will notice your demeanor and you keeping in decent shape. So get out and be active for at lest 30 minutes a day.
3. Have a proper grooming routine
Want to be more attractive? Smell and look clean. You just beat out 30% of other men right off the top. Check out my article about the top grooming mistakes men make.
2. Choosing the right haircut & facial hair
I can’t tell you what a difference this can make on a man. The most important thing to consider in a haircut is your hair type and facial shape. Also, consider your facial hair. Some men look more masculine and mature with a beard or some scruff.
1. Get your clothes fitted
Never underestimate the impact properly fitting clothing can have on your appearance. Your suits should be tailored, jeans hemmed, and you’re buying appropriate fitting shirts. Don’t give me that BS about trying to hide your gut or skinny frame with loose fitting clothing because trying to hide it makes it look worse.
Over the years, I’ve been witnessing men make the same style mistakes over and over again so I put together a list of the top mistakes I consistently see. I also have a free ebook about the 10 Most Overlooked Men’s Style Mistakes that are completely different from this list and that I’ve never seen discussed before.
10. Skinny jeans or ripped jeans.
Quickest way to look like you’re trying to dress like a teenager.
9. Wearing dress shirts untucked.
Dress shirts are designed with long tails so that they stay tucked into your pants. You should never wear them untucked. By all means wear casual collared shirts untucked, like an Oxford button down, but never with a suit or sport coat and only if the tails of the shirt hit mid crotch/mid butt.
8. Too much jewelry.
When it comes to bracelets, earrings (never!), necklaces, rings – keep it simple. Don’t wear more than 2 items, although I prefer only one item, not including your wedding band if you’re married. Thumb and index rings especially make me shudder the most.
7. Too many patterns or statement pieces in an outfit.
A lot of men associate being stylish with wearing a statement outfit or wearing a ton of patterns. This is far from true and ends up making you looking ridiculous. A good rule of thumb is to choose only one item in your outfit that is a statement piece or has a pattern to ensure you look stylish and put together at all times.
6. Wearing old, worn out belts.
If you have quality belts, they might need to be replaced every decade or two. If you’re wearing a belt to constantly hold up your pants, you need to get the waist of your pants taken in. Belts are a stopgap solution to the problem of your pants just not fitting properly.
5. Wearing square toed dress shoes – including square toed slip on loafers.
I constantly see these shoes worn with suits, trousers, and jeans. It’s a tacky, amature look and can make an otherwise sharp outfit look terrible. Just want to point out: the square-toed slip on loafers that I’m talking about are not the penny loafers or driving mocs I listed in my Top 4 Men’s Shoes For Spring article.
4. Ties that are too wide for your body type.
I see a lot of thin to average built men wearing 3.5″ wide ties. It really makes you look skinnier than you are, which sends a message to people that you’re not professional and might be sloppy in other aspects of your life and work. Think of the ‘Messy Bed, Messy Head’ mentality here.
3. Wearing unpressed or wrinkled clothes.
It’s sloppy as hell no matter what you’re wearing.
2. Pants or jeans that are too long and end up with fabric stacked around your ankle.
Again, I see this problem at least a handful of times a day. This looks really sloppy and ends up making you look disproportionate as the stacking visually makes your legs look shorter.
1. Not wearing properly fitted clothing.
This applies to suits, dress shirts, tees, pants, jackets and sweaters. You want clothing to fit your body shape and not leave you swimming in fabric or showing off your mammal toe or the bottom of your stomach.
Being a great conversationalist can be challenging, but the hardest part and often overlooked is the way to get INTO a conversation in the first place. You’d never walk up to someone out of the blue and ask them “What’s happening”, you already know exactly what’s happening ‘cus you’re at the same f#$ckin place! It drives me nuts when I see articles and videos peddling horrible advice like this because I have struggled with this in the past.
I want to show you how to actually start a conversation and show you the best opening topics. The goal of any great conversation is to find common ground. So you just start fishing for it, basically.
7. “Do you know where the restroom/bar/food is?”
You just need a way into a conversation, so this is the easiest opening. From there, you can talk about how hard “X” was to find.
6. “So where are you from?”
This applies to someone if they don’t seem like they’re from around here, but if you’re not sure, then you can default to “Hey! Are you from around here?” Whatever they’re answer may be, you now can talk about where they’re from or the city you both live in.
5. “That looks good. What is that? Where did you get that?”
If they’re eating or drinking something – this a great way to start talking with someone.
4. “I really like X (something they’re wearing). Who makes it or where did you get it?”
Similar to #5. Everyone loves being complimented. It makes them instantly let their guard down and then you can follow up with one of the next few conversation starters.
3. “What was the best part of your day today?”
In any kind of setting, this is an opening that will get you remembered. It can catch someone off guard at first, but then they’ll think about what an interesting and pleasant question that was.
2. “What brought you here today/tonight/etc?”
If you’re at a bar or an event that’s not hosted by someone specifically, then this is a great question to find common ground.
1. “So how do you know the host?”
This is my go-to conversation opener. If you’re at an event or party, you can always use the host as an excuse to learn about the people there.
These are, to me, the 16 accessories every guy needs to own, regardless of your age, occupation, and lifestyle. Some of these items you may not wear often, but there will be an occasion, as a grown man, when you will need them and you’ll be thankful that you thought far enough ahead to take care of them before it’s too late and you’re scrambling at the last minute. I’ve also included my favorites for each of these items below. But these points below are just skimming the surface compared to the much more through Men’s Essential Accessories Series I did recently.
Like I’ve mentioned before, every man should have at least a grey suit. Even if you only wear it once every year, you’re going to need a suit. Along with that, looking well dressed is always about the details and a white pocket square is an easily overlooked item that really does make a big impact and it’ll only set you back a couple of bucks.
This is another overlooked item. I talked about this in my article about the 12 Things Men Wear That Women Love, but a tie bar is something that adds that special touch to your outfit. It’s also so cheap to own so order it once and you’ll never think about it again.
Get rid of your white socks. These socks can and should be worn as your everyday socks. If you need heavier duty, thicker socks for your job or because of the weather, there are plenty of companies that offer warmer versions.
Whether you’re a sunglass man or not, sunglasses are important because they’re going to protect your eyes from the sun, prevent you from squinting, which creates wrinkles around your eyes, and they can add a stylish, cool touch to your outfit. Check out my sunglasses story so you choose the right frames for your face shape.
We all have those lazy days, myself included, where you just say F it, I’m gonna throw on a hat. When it comes to baseball hats I have very specific opinions about them so I shared some of my recommendations below.
Everyone travels. Whether it’s to some exotic country, or across town, you’ll need to put your clothes in something AND trash bags are not an option. Like every accessory you own, it should not only serve it’s purpose, but look damn good at the same time. I have a whole article about weekender bags you should check out.
This item goes great with your weekender bag. Again, doesn’t matter if you’re traveling to another city or to the gym, a dopp kitt is essential because it’ll keep your grooming products organized and contained in a respectable manner.
Everyone has casual days, and white sneakers look so sharp on every guy regardless of your age or body type. If you’re really scared of wearing white, or think that it doesn’t look right, ease yourself into it with a nice low top lace-up black or navy sneaker.