How To Talk To Women

Maybe it’s easy for some, but for a lot of men approaching and talking to women can be a big challenge. Since we get asked about this topic a ton, we thought we’d discuss our favorite tips on how to talk to women confidently and successfully.  Whether you’re meeting a woman for the first time or you’re headed out on a date, understanding and practicing these tips are sure to give you a big boost with the ladies!

 

3 Loafers Every Man Should Own

When you’re talking about versatile, stylish footwear, there are few styles I like better than loafers. I love that they can be dressed up or dressed down, and work for pretty much every season. There are many varieties out there these days, from simple to complicated, but I’d like to focus on three primary types that deserve a place in your closet, plus a few that maybe don’t.  Get ready, it’s loafer season for a reason.

 

Penny Loafers

A classic style that has stood the test of time, penny loafers are perhaps my favorite out of all the loafers. I love how versatile penny loafers are, they can be dressed up with a suit or dressed down with everything from jeans and a buttondown to chinos and a polo shirt. Brown and black are the two ideal colors here. For a secondary choice, a classic burgundy or oxblood color is an excellent option.

My Picks

Designer:

Prada

Ferragamo

Budget -Friendly:

Johnston & Murphy

Bass Weejun

Driving Moccasins

Originally designed for, you guessed it, driving, I love this style because they’re super comfortable and work well in a variety of casual situations.  They come in a few variations but I prefer the versions with a nubbed rubber sole or a full rubber sole for the look and comfort. For colors, the basics like brown and tan are great of course, but I also recommend versions in grey or navy for a pop of color.

My Picks

Designer:

Tods

Budget-Friendly:

Zappos

Boat Shoes

Another shoe that evolved from function – the no-slip rubber sole and lightweight design worked well on boats – boat shoes have become a classic warm-weather staple. I like them best with chinos and shorts for a relaxed alternative to sneakers. On the color front, go with blue, brown and grey for maximum wearability.

My Picks

Sperry Top-Sider

Alternative Loafer Styles

There are a few other loafer styles out there but I don’t generally recommend them because they can lean too specific in their look and style.

Tassel Loafers

This dandy look is popular with a lot of style bloggers out there, and while I don’t hate them, I just don’t think they’re ideal for most men from a style standpoint. Just like your clothes, your shoes should be streamlined, and while the tassels can give them somewhat of a “distinguished” look, I find them to be distracting, like an untucked pair of shoelaces.

Horsebit Loafers

Another type with a dandyish vibe that has become popular again (you may know them as Gucci’s iconic loafer), I am not a fan of them at all. They immediately age you up (and not in a good way), and I always expect a lawyer or Wall Street guy who is trying way, way too hard to wear these.

Venetian Loafers or Smoking Loafers

Both of these have a similar, streamlined shape and a formal look. Venetian loafers are unadorned and usually in leather while smoking loafers are typically velvet and have embroidery or embellishments on top of the shoe. I always view these as super formal, and that’s why I really only recommend wearing the patent leather or velvet versions with a tuxedo if you want to add some flair. I don’t recommend more casual versions in regular leather because it’s a style that’s quite outdated and doesn’t have the versatility I like. 

My Picks

Christian Louboutin

Vince Camuto

So no matter what you’re wearing, casual or formal, get out there and wear some loafers this season, your feet (and style) will thank you.

8 Tips For A Better Morning Routine

Getting your day off to a great start with a solid morning routine is super important, and once you’ve set yourself up for the day in a good frame of mind everything else will fall into place. Sure, a good morning grooming routine is key, but it’s more than that. As the saying goes, “The morning maketh the day.” So wake up, let’s go!

 

 

#1 – Remove friction in the morning

A smooth morning starts with getting preparing the night before – set out your clothing, write down your to-do list, prepare your breakfast, whatever you need for a nice onramp into the day.  A little prep goes a long way.

#2 – Make your bed

It’s not just about being neat, this small act of routine helps create an early win and sets you up for mental success for the rest of the day. Yes, seriously.  Hey, this guy swears by it, and we think he knows a thing or two.  

#3 – Wake up early

Now we’re not advocating a 5 am wake up call if you’re not a morning person but it is important to set aside enough time to have a stress and rush-free morning.  Try adding 15-30 minutes for a few of these tips and see how well it works.

#4 – Meditation/quick journaling

Having some time for your mental health and reflection is a really overlooked aspect.  Whether you take a few minutes to journal like Tim Ferriss or remind yourself of what you’re grateful for like Tony Robbins, the success of these two entrepreneurs proves they’ve got the right morning routine in place.

#5 – Have a proper breakfast

Everyone’s ideal breakfast is different, from eggs to a protein shake, but starting solid, nutritious base wil fuel you both mentally and physically for the whole day.

#6 – Make a to-do list

Kicking off the day with an organizational exercise is a great way to starting thinking clearly and stay focused.  Create 1 to 3 MIT’s (Most Important Things) for the day and do those before you do anything else.

#7 – Take a tech timeout

Sure, we all do it, the alarm goes off and we immediately grab our phones.  But it’s time to break that habit and start with waiting to check your phone in the morning.  We’re on our devices all day and it’s important to start the day off with a break so skip the phone, email, and social media until after you’ve marked some MIT’s off your list or eaten breakfast.

#8 – Get the blood flowing

Whether you’re a morning workout person or not, getting the blood moving early on is great for your mental state. Hit the gym, go for a run, or even just do a set of pushups or jumping jacks, you’ll have a more productive day and start in a better mood.

How To Understand A Woman’s Body Language

Sure, we women are full of mysteries, (just ask Dorian), but knowing a thing or two about body language can really help you figure out some of those mysteries.  Whether you’re meeting someone for the first time or are enjoying her company on a date, there are some subtle things she may or may not be doing that can tell you a lot about whether or not she likes you.  As humans, we react in unconscious ways based on how we feel, and knowing a little bit about these cues and how to react accordingly can really help you out along the way.

 

#1 – A lingering glance

What it means: “I like what I see.”

Before you’ve even met someone you may be able to figure out how much they’re interested in you.  If you catch eyes with someone and they give you a lingering look or don’t immediately turn away, chances are they like what they see.  Don’t wait, now’s your chance to go say hi!

#2 – Hair fixing/outfit brushing

What it means: “I know you’re checking me out.”

Unconscious outfit or hair touching and fixing is another great sign that someone you’ve been checking out is aware and ready to reciprocate. These slight movements or subtle means of indicating self-consciousness often happen as someone is indicating they want to look their best for someone else who is potentially interested. Another good sign that you’re off to a great start.

#3 – Arm or shoulder touching

What it means: “I’m testing boundaries (and I’d like you to reciprocate).”

If you’ve made the move and have initiated conversation with someone, subtle touching is a huge cue for interest and attraction.  The other person obviously feels comfortable around you and naturally feels compelled to touch you.  Subtle touches to your arm or shoulder in a playful way are a means to break down physical boundaries, so take that as a great sign! Don’t let the moment pass either, basic reciprocation is definitely something she’s encouraging you to do so she knows you feel the same level of interest.

#4 – Shying away from you

What it means: “Sorry buddy, I’m just not that into you.”

On the opposite side of the spectrum, you want to be conscious of ways she may react that could indicate that she’s not really feeling it. Turning away or looking away as you initiate contact and interest could mean she’s not interested and doesn’t feel that level of comfort around you in order to reciprocate. It doesn’t mean she’s feeling negative, just that she isn’t romantically interested. If that happens, don’t worry, simply politely move on like the gentleman you are, there are plenty of other women out there.

#5 – Smiling with no teeth showing

What it means: “I’m bored and humoring you.”

Obviously big smiles mean good things, but sometimes it’s more about a person still feeling unsure but wanting to remain polite.  If you’re getting smiles but they don’t seem to be of the obvious variety it probably means you’re on the right track but you’ve still got some work to do in terms of making her feel comfortable and interested. Change up the topic and see if she still keeps giving you this type of smile. If this goes on long enough, it’s not a good sign.

#6 – Arms folded and touching biceps

What it means: “I don’t want to talk you at all.”

Again, arms crossed is a pretty obvious sign things aren’t going well but if she’s got her hands touching her biceps she’s definitely feeling a lot of discomfort, displeasure, or is upset. Take this as a sign that it may be time to end the conversation or address what’s going on directly but sensitively.  Who knows, maybe it was an inadvertent mistake on your part or there’s something going on that’s unrelated to you entirely.  Be compassionate and upfront, you never really know what’s going on until you ask. Alternatively, if it’s obvious she’s not in a good place it may not be worth your time, and as we said before, there are plenty of other wonderful people out there.

Sneakers Every Man Should Own

I talk a lot about what a crucial part of your wardrobe sneakers are and they definitely shouldn’t be an afterthought.  There are many great ones out there, but not all sneakers are created equal. Having a selection of classic, versatile styles will definitely take your casual wardrobe to the next level.  With that, here are my picks for the sneakers that every man should own!

 

Canvas Sneakers

PF Flyers 

These were also my top pick this year for shoes you need to own in 2018, and for good reason, they’re cheap, breathable, comfortable and have a unique take on the classic canvas sneaker.

Vans Classic or Converse All Star

If the PF Flyers aren’t up your alley or you want something other than white, consider one of these super classic, never-go-wrong sneakers. They’re cheap and look awesome with pretty much everything. I love them in white, navy, gray or even black.

Leather Sneakers

Stan Smith or Common Projects Achilles

I’ve talked about white leather sneakers a ton; I love how they’re clean, classic and add a little extra polish to a casual outfit. If you’re not a fan of white, definitely get the gray or blue versions of these.

Running Shoes

New Balance Retro Sneaker

Like I mentioned in my top shoe video, these New Balance retro running sneaker are affordable, look great, and are very comfortable. I love the woven upper, as it makes them extra breathable and very comfortable-just like wearing socks.

Adidas P.O.D. S3.1 or Ultra Boosts

Ultra boost soles are like walking on marshmallows, they’re the most comfortable sneakers I’ve ever worn. Plus these are cool and unique without being crazy loud like other running shoes can be. If you want something less flashy, the classic Ultra Boosts are the way to go.

High Top Sneakers

Converse All-Stars

I like the all-white over all-black because the all black is really heavy-looking on your feet. If you want black, I’d actually suggest getting a version by John Varvatos, they’re a well-designed take on the classic Converse-style high top.

Nike SF Air Force 1

For those of you who really like a sporty high top sneaker, here’s one of my favorites that I’ve styled on a couple of my clients. I like the black and white colorway of these but the all-white ones look great too. I love the clean silhouette and the dual zippers at the heel make these shoes super easy to get on and off.

So those are my top picks for sneakers every man should own, hopefully you’ve got a few of them lined up in your closet!

Style Essentials For Hot Weather

No matter where you live, you’re probably battling some heat right about now. You’re probably also wondering how the hell you’re going to look put-together and stylish in this type of weather.  Don’t worry though, we’re here to help!  We’ve got a batch of easy tips that are not only going to have you looking cool, but staying cool as well.

 

Lightweight Fabrics

Start by opting for breathable, lightweight fabrics like cotton (for chinos, t-shirts, and polos) and linen and linen blends (for suits, shirting, and shorts) for hot weather dressing. One warning though, we don’t usually recommend most linen pants as they’re often too thin and sheer (yikes!).

Keep It Covered

A lightweight straw hat is a great way to keep the sun and heat off and give your head and face some protection. Don’t forget to check out my summer essentials e-book for more on what styles we think are best!

Light Colors

As you can probably imagine, dark colors are going to absorb the heat and sun and make you hot, so we highly recommend going with light colors like tan, white, light grey, and pastels if you’re looking for a pop of color.  For more color tips, check out our color guide for details.

Breathable Footwear

Lightweight, low profile footwear is a stylish way to keep your cool in hot weather. I recommend canvas or fabric slip-ons like Toms or Soludos and loafers like driving mocs or boat shoes as casual and dressier options. Unless you’re at or going to some body of water, you can skip the sandals. Real talk, no one wants to see your toes, pedicure or not.

Lightweight Layers

Believe it or not, the right layers, like a linen shirt or polo w/ a linen or lightweight cotton jacket, will actually keep you cooler. There’s a reason nomadic Bedouins in desert countries wear light colors and layers, it actually traps cool air and lets it flow around you. Stylish Italians are also experts at utilizing this method of layering breathable fabrics to look put-together and stay comfortable.

Shorten Up

As I’ve shown you, there’s a right and wrong way to wear shorts, and as long as they fit properly, letting your legs breath can help keep you cool and have you looking casually stylish. One caveat though, shorts don’t transition well from day to night, so default to a lightweight pair of chinos if you’re needing to wear something for the whole day and on into the evening.

With the right choices, looking stylish and staying cool are both well within your reach this season, now don’t forget some sunscreen!

Here are some of my favorite picks for warm weather style; for more, make sure to check out the video!

Linen Shirts:

Uniqlo

H&M 

Brooks Brothers Shirts

Brooks Brothers Dress Shirts

Polo Shirts:

Uniqlo

H&M

Banana Republic

Brooks Brothers

Linen and Cotton Suits/Blazers:

H&M Linen Suit Jacket/Blazer

H&M Linen Suit Pants

Banana Republic Linen Suits/Blazers

Brooks Brothers Cotton Blazers

Linen and Cotton Blend Pants:

H&M Pants

Uniqlo Chinos

Bonobos Cotton and Linen Pants

Hats:

Brooks Brothers Fedora

Stetson Straw Hat

Brooks Brothers Straw Hat

Slip-On Shoes:

Soludos Shoes

Tod’s Suede Loafers

Budget-Friendly Loafer Options

Vans Canvas Shoes

Budget-Friendly Shorts:

Uniqlo Shorts

H&M Chino Shorts

H&M Cotton Shorts

Gap Linen Shorts

Gap Embroidered Shorts

Banana Republic Stretch Shorts

Banana Republic Printed Shorts

Surf-Inspired Shorts:

Billabong, Hurley, Quiksilver Shorts

More Shorts:

Bonobos Shorts

Bonobos Printed Shorts

Vince Shorts

Brooks Brothers Shorts

Brooks Brothers Linen/Cotton Shorts

Brooks Brothers Seersucker Shorts

Vineyard Vines Shorts

Best Travel Accessories

Obviously, we all know traveling can be super hectic; between the crazy lines, delayed flights, and packed planes, there’s a reason there’s a bar right by almost every gate.  Outside of finding the right travel bag, being prepared with the right accessories can make your trip smooth and easy.  Both Dorian and I travel a lot for work so we’ve learned a thing or two about what to bring on trips, and we decided to put together a foolproof list that’s suitable for nearly any journey.  Plus, almost all of these items can be found on Amazon so it will make your pre-trip shopping as easy as a few clicks.

 

Here’s our go-to list of travel accessories:

Portable steamer

You never know what the iron situation will be where you’re going and a portable steamer is small, light, easy to pack, and super effective.

Small lint roller

A must-have for keeping dark clothing and suits/blazers looking their best, we love this version because it has an easy-to-use covered design.

Jack Spade dopp kit

In addition to having the right bag, a proper dopp kit is going to keep all your toiletries organized and in good order.  We also like this budget-friendly version from Herschel.

Wireless Bose or Sony Bluetooth headphones

Wireless headphones with noise canceling are ideal for plane trips and will keep your tunes or podcasts sounding crisp and clear.  They also keep you feeling much more refreshed and alert by drowning out the excessive plane noise. We also like this budget-friendly version from Cowin.

Eye mask for sleeping

A necessity if you plan on surviving that redeye, they block out all the light so you can get deeper, more restful sleep. We find that the versions that don’t sit right on your eyes (like the ones linked above) are much, much more comfortable and effective.

Cabeau memory foam neck pillow

Speaking of surviving a red eye, a good neck pillow is a must. Memory foam is the best because it packs up super small and is very comfortable. Plus, this one from Cabeau is Tim Ferris approved!

Portable battery from Belkin or Anker

Never miss another ‘Gram opportunity because of a dead phone again. These small, portable batteries will keep you charged up and ready to go.

The Bagel power strip

If you travel internationally you know the hassles of different wall plug adapters. The Bagel is very small and works worldwide to keeps all your devices charged up.

ExOfficio boxer briefs

These outstanding briefs are super durable and quick-drying so you’ll be cool and comfortable all trip. We’re big fans of ExOfficio and have featured them before.

Tech Dopp Kit from This Is Ground

Just like you keep your toiletries organized, having a handy case will keep your cords, chargers, and devices squared away and easy-to-find. We also love the Bandito from This is Ground and the Grid-it from Cocoon.

The Cord Taco from This is Ground

If you’re traveling light, sometimes a small cord organizer is all you need.

So now that you’re properly prepared for a smooth trip all that’s left is to grab some snacks and a drink at the bar, have a safe flight!