7 Tips To Be A Better Conversationalist

Being a good conversationalist can help you in all aspects of life from socially to professionally, and since we’ve mentioned how important this skill is in other videos, we thought we’d break it down to the key points.

1. Listen

It actually starts with not talking at all. Whether you’re meeting someone for the first time or working a crowded room or bar, listening will help you be more engaged with others which will, in turn, make the conversation flow much more easily and make it a better experience for everyone else.

2. Be Genuine

Starting with a friendly, genuine interest in others is an important foundation to becoming a better conversationalist.

3. Be Complimentary

Giving someone a thoughtful and genuine compliment (but not too over the top) will instantly put them at ease and make them more comfortable in the situation.

4. Practice Makes Perfect

Just like with many other things in life, the more you practice your conversation skills, the more confident and comfortable you’ll be in your skills.

5. Know How To Start A Conversation

It can just be as simple as introducing yourself and asking simple questions. If you’re in a social setting, keep it simple.  You can even practice a few basic questions for any type of setting so you’ll always feel prepared and relaxed. For more conversation starters, check out this video.

6. Keep The Conversation Going

Back to asking questions and being genuine, simply being engaged and thoughtful will help any conversation progress organically.

7. Know How To End One Too

Ending a conversation politely is just as important.  You want to make sure the other people involved don’t feel ditched. So be friendly but direct, your delivery will determine how everyone else feels after you’ve left.

Give these tips a shot and make sure to practice and you’ll hone your conversation skills in no time!

5 Conversation Topics Women Hate

Whether it’s in a dating scenario or socially at a party or event, small talk and conversation skills are things that take practice to master. Outside of feeling comfortable with yourself, knowing what not to talk about is super important if you’re going to hit it off well and just generally be someone fun and interesting to be around. So do yourself a favor, make sure you’re not bringing up any of these major no-no’s when chatting up the next women you meet.

Politics

Let’s not sugar coat it, we’re living in divisive times and no matter what side of the fence you’re on, bringing up politics on a first date or in a social setting is an absolutely huge “NO”. Just don’t do it.

Your Ex

No matter what type of dating scenario you’re in when you first meet someone, no woman wants to hear you go on an on about how great (or terrible) your ex was. Yes, there’s a time and a place to discuss past relationships but the first few dates or conversations is definitely not one of them.

Religion

Just like politics, we’re living in complex times and religion can be a very personal thing. You want your social and dating conversations to be light, fun, and interesting, not heavy and serious. Hold off on the religion talk until well into a relationship.

Work

Yes, of course, talking about what you do for a living is perfectly normal and natural. BUT, a minute or two is enough! We don’t want to hear you go on and on about your job, how you “crush it”, “close deals” or whatever else, it’s boring, move on.

Yourself

Yup, I said it. So yes, talking about yourself in the right way is critical, but it’s how you do it that matters. Do we want to learn more about what makes you unique and cool? Yes, absolutely. But do we want to hear you go on and on about your car, how much money you make, or how big your house is? Hell no. Confidence is great but being self-involved and arrogant is a huge turn-off.

How To Talk To Women

Maybe it’s easy for some, but for a lot of men approaching and talking to women can be a big challenge. Since we get asked about this topic a ton, we thought we’d discuss our favorite tips on how to talk to women confidently and successfully.  Whether you’re meeting a woman for the first time or you’re headed out on a date, understanding and practicing these tips are sure to give you a big boost with the ladies!

 

10 Ways You’re Rejecting Women Without Even Knowing It

Whether you know it or not, you there are some things you may (or may not) be doing that have a profound effect on how women respond to you. In fact, you may be rejecting or turning off women in a big way, even before you’ve had a chance to get to know or even talk to them. Which mistakes are you making? Check out these 10 ways you’re rejecting women without even knowing it!

 

10. Not looking or smelling clean

It may go without saying but it still bears repeating. Dirty fingernails, unkempt hair, bad breath, wrinkled, ill-fitting clothing and even too much cologne can all kill any chance you have with the opposite sex before you even say a word.

9. Poor table manners and etiquette

It’s pretty simple really, a lack of manners is a huge turn-off. Not waiting for others to be served before eating, talking with your mouth full, and a general lack of respect for others demonstrates how little you care about the world around you, and the people in it.

8. Lack of eye contact

Eye contact is a huge indicator of confidence and respect, plus it’s just awkward when your eyes are wandering. If you’re on the shy side it may take some practice to be comfortable with making eye contact but trust me, it’s worth doing what it takes to improve your skills.

7. Bad body language

Stand-offish body language or unwelcoming expressions can just make someone feel uncomfortable and unwanted so be mindful of things like crossing your arms, how you hold yourself, sitting or standing. Don’t be afraid to smile, it goes a long way in making people feel comfortable and attracted to you.

6. Poor conversation skills

Interrupting, being combative or overly aggressive just makes anyone your speaking with feel defensive and nervous, so make sure you’re relaxed and friendly, no matter how passionate you get about a subject. It’s also important to consider how you start and end a conversation too, it’s easy to shoot yourself in the foot if you’re not careful.

5. Inappropriate conversations

Tact is an important and subtle thing, so know your surroundings and the situation. Being overtly sexual, talking about exes, talking down to people, excessive boasting or talking about yourself too much are major negatives and no woman wants to hear it. For more advice, check out my piece on things you should never say to a woman.

4. Uncomfortably cheap

Look, being strict about a budget and financially responsible is a great thing but pushing it too far, especially around others can make you look bad and force others into situations they don’t want to be in.

3. Lack of punctuality

Sure, we all have our moments of lateness but there’s no quicker way to make someone feel disrespected than to be excessively late or not care about timeframes. Plus, all it takes is a simple, genuine apology if you are late to let someone know you aren’t totally self-centered.

2. Sending the wrong message

If you’re interested in the woman, ask her about herself. Then if things go well, be a man and ask her if she’d like to have a drink or dinner with you. Playing games, trying to be too cool, or not being straightforward, these things aren’t attractive in any way and just let her know you’re not someone worth spending time with.

1. Negging

Any woman with half a brain sees this amateur move a mile away and immediately writes a guy off for an easy rejection. As we mentioned previously, being genuine and straightforward lets her know you’re a confident gentleman, not a game-player.

The good news is, many of these are easy to fix, so take honest stock of yourself and interact with women. It doesn’t hurt to ask someone you trust for some feedback too.  Like many other situations in life, good things come from caring about some of the most simple things.

7 Awesome Conversation Starters That Don’t Suck

Being a great conversationalist can be challenging, but the hardest part and often overlooked is the way to get INTO a conversation in the first place. You’d never walk up to someone out of the blue and ask them “What’s happening”, you already know exactly what’s happening ‘cus you’re at the same f#$ckin place! It drives me nuts when I see articles and videos peddling horrible advice like this because I have struggled with this in the past.

I want to show you how to actually start a conversation and show you the best opening topics. The goal of any great conversation is to find common ground. So you just start fishing for it, basically.

7. “Do you know where the restroom/bar/food is?”

You just need a way into a conversation, so this is the easiest opening. From there, you can talk about how hard “X” was to find.

6. “So where are you from?”

This applies to someone if they don’t seem like they’re from around here, but if you’re not sure, then you can default to “Hey! Are you from around here?” Whatever they’re answer may be, you now can talk about where they’re from or the city you both live in.

5. “That looks good. What is that? Where did you get that?”

If they’re eating or drinking something – this a great way to start talking with someone.

4. “I really like X (something they’re wearing). Who makes it or where did you get it?”

Similar to #5. Everyone loves being complimented. It makes them instantly let their guard down and then you can follow up with one of the next few conversation starters.

3. “What was the best part of your day today?”

In any kind of setting, this is an opening that will get you remembered. It can catch someone off guard at first, but then they’ll think about what an interesting and pleasant question that was.

2. “What brought you here today/tonight/etc?”

If you’re at a bar or an event that’s not hosted by someone specifically, then this is a great question to find common ground.

1. “So how do you know the host?”

This is my go-to conversation opener. If you’re at an event or party, you can always use the host as an excuse to learn about the people there.