How To Talk To Women

Maybe it’s easy for some, but for a lot of men approaching and talking to women can be a big challenge. Since we get asked about this topic a ton, we thought we’d discuss our favorite tips on how to talk to women confidently and successfully.  Whether you’re meeting a woman for the first time or you’re headed out on a date, understanding and practicing these tips are sure to give you a big boost with the ladies!

 

How To Understand A Woman’s Body Language

Sure, we women are full of mysteries, (just ask Dorian), but knowing a thing or two about body language can really help you figure out some of those mysteries.  Whether you’re meeting someone for the first time or are enjoying her company on a date, there are some subtle things she may or may not be doing that can tell you a lot about whether or not she likes you.  As humans, we react in unconscious ways based on how we feel, and knowing a little bit about these cues and how to react accordingly can really help you out along the way.

 

#1 – A lingering glance

What it means: “I like what I see.”

Before you’ve even met someone you may be able to figure out how much they’re interested in you.  If you catch eyes with someone and they give you a lingering look or don’t immediately turn away, chances are they like what they see.  Don’t wait, now’s your chance to go say hi!

#2 – Hair fixing/outfit brushing

What it means: “I know you’re checking me out.”

Unconscious outfit or hair touching and fixing is another great sign that someone you’ve been checking out is aware and ready to reciprocate. These slight movements or subtle means of indicating self-consciousness often happen as someone is indicating they want to look their best for someone else who is potentially interested. Another good sign that you’re off to a great start.

#3 – Arm or shoulder touching

What it means: “I’m testing boundaries (and I’d like you to reciprocate).”

If you’ve made the move and have initiated conversation with someone, subtle touching is a huge cue for interest and attraction.  The other person obviously feels comfortable around you and naturally feels compelled to touch you.  Subtle touches to your arm or shoulder in a playful way are a means to break down physical boundaries, so take that as a great sign! Don’t let the moment pass either, basic reciprocation is definitely something she’s encouraging you to do so she knows you feel the same level of interest.

#4 – Shying away from you

What it means: “Sorry buddy, I’m just not that into you.”

On the opposite side of the spectrum, you want to be conscious of ways she may react that could indicate that she’s not really feeling it. Turning away or looking away as you initiate contact and interest could mean she’s not interested and doesn’t feel that level of comfort around you in order to reciprocate. It doesn’t mean she’s feeling negative, just that she isn’t romantically interested. If that happens, don’t worry, simply politely move on like the gentleman you are, there are plenty of other women out there.

#5 – Smiling with no teeth showing

What it means: “I’m bored and humoring you.”

Obviously big smiles mean good things, but sometimes it’s more about a person still feeling unsure but wanting to remain polite.  If you’re getting smiles but they don’t seem to be of the obvious variety it probably means you’re on the right track but you’ve still got some work to do in terms of making her feel comfortable and interested. Change up the topic and see if she still keeps giving you this type of smile. If this goes on long enough, it’s not a good sign.

#6 – Arms folded and touching biceps

What it means: “I don’t want to talk you at all.”

Again, arms crossed is a pretty obvious sign things aren’t going well but if she’s got her hands touching her biceps she’s definitely feeling a lot of discomfort, displeasure, or is upset. Take this as a sign that it may be time to end the conversation or address what’s going on directly but sensitively.  Who knows, maybe it was an inadvertent mistake on your part or there’s something going on that’s unrelated to you entirely.  Be compassionate and upfront, you never really know what’s going on until you ask. Alternatively, if it’s obvious she’s not in a good place it may not be worth your time, and as we said before, there are plenty of other wonderful people out there.

10 Ways You’re Rejecting Women Without Even Knowing It

Whether you know it or not, you there are some things you may (or may not) be doing that have a profound effect on how women respond to you. In fact, you may be rejecting or turning off women in a big way, even before you’ve had a chance to get to know or even talk to them. Which mistakes are you making? Check out these 10 ways you’re rejecting women without even knowing it!

 

10. Not looking or smelling clean

It may go without saying but it still bears repeating. Dirty fingernails, unkempt hair, bad breath, wrinkled, ill-fitting clothing and even too much cologne can all kill any chance you have with the opposite sex before you even say a word.

9. Poor table manners and etiquette

It’s pretty simple really, a lack of manners is a huge turn-off. Not waiting for others to be served before eating, talking with your mouth full, and a general lack of respect for others demonstrates how little you care about the world around you, and the people in it.

8. Lack of eye contact

Eye contact is a huge indicator of confidence and respect, plus it’s just awkward when your eyes are wandering. If you’re on the shy side it may take some practice to be comfortable with making eye contact but trust me, it’s worth doing what it takes to improve your skills.

7. Bad body language

Stand-offish body language or unwelcoming expressions can just make someone feel uncomfortable and unwanted so be mindful of things like crossing your arms, how you hold yourself, sitting or standing. Don’t be afraid to smile, it goes a long way in making people feel comfortable and attracted to you.

6. Poor conversation skills

Interrupting, being combative or overly aggressive just makes anyone your speaking with feel defensive and nervous, so make sure you’re relaxed and friendly, no matter how passionate you get about a subject. It’s also important to consider how you start and end a conversation too, it’s easy to shoot yourself in the foot if you’re not careful.

5. Inappropriate conversations

Tact is an important and subtle thing, so know your surroundings and the situation. Being overtly sexual, talking about exes, talking down to people, excessive boasting or talking about yourself too much are major negatives and no woman wants to hear it. For more advice, check out my piece on things you should never say to a woman.

4. Uncomfortably cheap

Look, being strict about a budget and financially responsible is a great thing but pushing it too far, especially around others can make you look bad and force others into situations they don’t want to be in.

3. Lack of punctuality

Sure, we all have our moments of lateness but there’s no quicker way to make someone feel disrespected than to be excessively late or not care about timeframes. Plus, all it takes is a simple, genuine apology if you are late to let someone know you aren’t totally self-centered.

2. Sending the wrong message

If you’re interested in the woman, ask her about herself. Then if things go well, be a man and ask her if she’d like to have a drink or dinner with you. Playing games, trying to be too cool, or not being straightforward, these things aren’t attractive in any way and just let her know you’re not someone worth spending time with.

1. Negging

Any woman with half a brain sees this amateur move a mile away and immediately writes a guy off for an easy rejection. As we mentioned previously, being genuine and straightforward lets her know you’re a confident gentleman, not a game-player.

The good news is, many of these are easy to fix, so take honest stock of yourself and interact with women. It doesn’t hurt to ask someone you trust for some feedback too.  Like many other situations in life, good things come from caring about some of the most simple things.

5 Things Men Think Women Care About But Don’t

Aaron over at AlphaM had a video about this topic that was pretty accurate (watch here: https://youtu.be/iq7mFtmKV), but there were a few things that he missed, so I thought it would be fun to give a women’s perspective on this topic, as well.

5. Being a tough guy

Somehow men have this notion that they’re not supposed to show any kind of emotion of vulnerability. That’s unrealistic and you’re not a human if you’re like that. Women want to see some emotion and sensitivity – that makes you normal and we actually feel closer to you when you can let your guard down around us.

4. Always Wined & Dined

Sure, every woman loves to be taken to a nice dinner, but not all the time. We would much rather have a fun, creative experience, where we can both have a great time together and enjoy each other’s company. From a homemade meal, to a little hole-in-the wall joint, to a taco truck – those are some of my more memorable meals/dates. I love all the amazing restaurants my fiance has taken me too, but the memories that have stuck with me, for instance, are the times he would take me to our favorite taco truck and then grab Oreo shakes afterwards at Frosty Freeze. Total cost – $10.

3. Status Symbols

Your job title, car, where you live – you don’t need to impress women by upselling yourself. We’ll find out pretty quickly that you wasted all your money on that nice car to impress us when I meet your 10 other roommates. Don’t be that guy. It’s kind of sad and pathetic and makes us think much less of you if you assume this is what matters to us. Do the best with what you have and don’t be ashamed of it. Honesty goes a lot further than some shiny car. Women also highly value a man who has a strong work ethic, drive and passion to get to wherever it is he wants to be in life, as well.

2. Height

You don’t need to be tall to get our attention. Women don’t care about your height as much as you think.  If it’s not an issue for you, it’s not an issue for a woman. Your personality, confidence, and overall put-together, groomed appearance are way more important than how tall you are.

1. Money

It’s such a lame excuse that men who aren’t having success in the women department like to use. We all make our own money these days, so don’t think that women care that much about it, because we don’t. I can tell you that it’s actually a huge turnoff if if all a man cares about is money and it consumes him and his personality. If your entire motivation in life is to make an extra buck, and that’s it, then that gets old real quick.