How To Deal With Rejection

Rejection is a part of life, both personally and professionally. We all face it and it’s unavoidable. But, it’s also a great learning opportunity.  Whether it’s about your self-confidence or how you interact with people, what’s important is how you learn to get over it and what you take away from it.  Believe it or not, it takes some practice but learning how to deal with rejection comes down to 5 simple factors.

Accept It

Know that it’s a part of your romantic life and you will have to deal with it. The sooner you accept it and know that you will grow stronger from it the less power fear will have over you.

Learn From It

Make sure you take away something from the rejection. Whether it’s learning from a mistake you made or that a particular someone wasn’t right for you, rejection can be a powerful learning experience.

Give It Time

Getting over rejection takes time, so be patient. Focus on yourself – your health, fitness, mental strength and you’ll emerge stronger and better.  Don’t beat yourself up after a short period of time, time heals all, as the old saying goes.

It’s Not The End Of The World

Yes, it’s a terrible cliche but it’s absolutely true.  Lean on your support group of friends and family and try to take a step back and look at the big picture.  Every person you probably admire has been rejected and moved on to do great things and you can too!

Get Rejected More Often

Getting rejected more often is actually a good tool. It actually makes it easier to deal with and helps you understand and move on more quickly.  Also, getting rejected means you’re taking risks and living life to the fullest.

How To Be More Confident

Some people are born with it, some people aren’t, but confidence is definitely something that anyone can have.  It just takes some work and a positive attitude. Confidence can help you in all facets of life, from dating to professional settings, so that’s why we’re sharing a few tips on how to be more confident.

Identify self-limiting thoughts/actions

Whether you work through it on your own or with a professional, getting clarity on where you lack confidence is an important step in changing it. Whether it’s facing your fears or understanding where negative thoughts come from you’ve got to know where you stand to improve.

Know The Truth: You Are Great

We all have self-doubt, it’s part of life, but confidence starts from the inside out, and working on loving yourself and recognizing your own great qualities is a key point in becoming more confident.

Talk To Yourself

This might seem a bit weird at first but it really works. It can take many forms from mantras you say to yourself at the beginning of the day to just giving yourself a pep talk before a big date or job interview, putting yourself in the right frame of mind can really help you feel more confident.  

Practice

Confidence takes practice.  From consistently working your own processes to just interacting with people on a regular basis, practice makes perfect. The more you work on it, the better you’ll get.

Be Positive

Confidence also starts with a positive outlook. By cultivating a positive outlook on life, social interactions, work, etc. you’ll be able to focus on being genuinely happy with yourself and others

One final point, know the difference between confidence and arrogance. There’s a fine line between being confident and cocky.  Confident people are engaging and fun to be around, arrogant people come off as disingenuous and rude. Yes, it’s important to know your worth but you never want to think you’re better than anyone, projecting the right type of confidence will bring people to you whereas arrogance can just turn people off.

5 Books Every Man Should Read

I asked Dorian, who is an avid and varied reader, to share some of the books he recommends to his mentoring groups. His 5 books every man should read as well as descriptions and reasons for recommending them are below.

The Magic of Thinking Big

I fought reading this book for a long time because my bullshit sensor is very sensitive and it just seemed like a bunch of weird self-helpy trash. I avoided it for many years until someone I really respected said it was worth reading. I gave it a shot and was surprised at how practical and informative it was. I can credit this book with helping me to see outside and go beyond my current circumstances and expand my horizons in business and life.

How To Win Friends & Influence People

Let’s be honest: nothing happens in a vacuum. Walls, empires and lives are built and destroyed based on interactions between people. So why not be as good as possible in this respect? The book’s title sounds like it’ll teach you how to manipulate people to do your bidding, but that’s not the angle it takes, so don’t let it dissuade you. I credit this book with helping me get over my social anxiety and shyness and, dare I say, has made me a better person overall.

Tao Te Ching

The pitch for this book is tough. It takes at least a few times of goading people to read it before they finally acquiesce and understand how good it is. It was basically written as a manual for emperors about how to be good rulers. But that description, while accurate, is doing this really short and succinct book a huge disservice by implying it’s only for people who oversee countries or large corporations. I read this book at least once a year to keep my life in perspective and use it as a sort-of pep talk during rough times. The book will use some terms that Westerners would interpret as religious in nature, but take those with a huge grain of salt and define them how you want. There is no such thing as an Eastern religion, they are only philosophies, similar to the Golden Rule, that are meant to only be supplements to your personal beliefs – not replace them.

Getting Things Done

When I started my first company, I didn’t know how to manage all the responsibilities and tasks being thrown my way. I would literally go through my to-do list and calendar in my head each night while laying in bed and as the company grew and my responsibilities increased, my sleep went away with it. I was recommended this book to use as a system for managing my life and it delivered on that promise ten-fold. I can credit this book with keeping me, as well as Ashley when she started her first company, sane and in a position to grow and expand our business’ and lives. This book will work for you, no matter where you are in life and make you more productive and happier than you thought possible.

World Religions

Religions are important to understand because they’ve influenced our lives in ways you may not realize. So in order to understand the basis for most laws, societies and people in general, it’s important to understand the foundational elements of everything – which are religions. The only problem with this book is that it’s written by a religious scholar who sees everything through a Christian viewpoint, so his interpretation of Eastern philosophies are not accurate because he looks at them as religions – when they’re not at all. I will include another book in the bonus section below that contains a more accurate description of Eastern thought.

 

Bonus Books

1984

This book was written almost 75 years ago and it’s scary how accurately it portrays our modern times. This is a fictional-must read and a re-read if you haven’t read it in a while.

The Religion Of No Religion

This is a free youtube video of a lecture by Alan Watts, about the origins and details of Eastern philosophies that are a more accurate depiction than the other book about religions above.

The Naked Ape

If you want to have your head screwed on differently, read this book by a Zoolgist who breaks down the human species like any other animal in nature. It’s an entertaining and perspective-changing read.

Pale Blue Dot

This is a perspective-shifting book that will help you understand the place you inhabit in the literal universe.