How you speak and the words you use say a TON about who you are and how women will perceive you. Using the wrong words can really be detrimental to how you come across, especially to the opposite sex. Are you using any of these 8 Words Men Use That Women Hate?
8 Words Men Use That Women Hate
Bro/Dude – Sure, we all use these, but be aware of how often and in what situations. To many “bros” or “dudes” can just make you seem immature.
Smash/Bang – Any childish or over-the-top reference to sex just makes you seem like an amateur.
C-Word / Bitch / Slut – It should go without saying that anything sexist or misogynistic, even if you think you are “joking”, is never, ever a good look.
Relax/Calm Down – There is a right way and a wrong way to use these words, they can come off as insensitive and condescending, a huge red flag in your communication skills.
Gay – Never ok, even in a joking or casual way.
Racial Slurs – The same goes for these, no woman ever, ever wants to hear or can appreciate any kind of slur.
Any joke/comment about a woman’s period – Want to instantly put yourself in the dog house? Make one of these tasteless jokes or condescend to a woman about what she’s going through during PMS.
Babe/Sweetie/Missy/Sweetheart – Sure, using these in the appropriate loving/kind way with a close friend or significant other is totally acceptable. But in the wrong situation, at work/in professional situations, for example, it comes off as disrespectful and condescending.
Maybe it’s easy for some, but for a lot of men approaching and talking to women can be a big challenge. Since we get asked about this topic a ton, we thought we’d discuss our favorite tips on how to talk to women confidently and successfully. Whether you’re meeting a woman for the first time or you’re headed out on a date, understanding and practicing these tips are sure to give you a big boost with the ladies!
Sure, we women are full of mysteries, (just ask Dorian), but knowing a thing or two about body language can really help you figure out some of those mysteries. Whether you’re meeting someone for the first time or are enjoying her company on a date, there are some subtle things she may or may not be doing that can tell you a lot about whether or not she likes you. As humans, we react in unconscious ways based on how we feel, and knowing a little bit about these cues and how to react accordingly can really help you out along the way.
#1 – A lingering glance
What it means: “I like what I see.”
Before you’ve even met someone you may be able to figure out how much they’re interested in you. If you catch eyes with someone and they give you a lingering look or don’t immediately turn away, chances are they like what they see. Don’t wait, now’s your chance to go say hi!
#2 – Hair fixing/outfit brushing
What it means: “I know you’re checking me out.”
Unconscious outfit or hair touching and fixing is another great sign that someone you’ve been checking out is aware and ready to reciprocate. These slight movements or subtle means of indicating self-consciousness often happen as someone is indicating they want to look their best for someone else who is potentially interested. Another good sign that you’re off to a great start.
#3 – Arm or shoulder touching
What it means: “I’m testing boundaries (and I’d like you to reciprocate).”
If you’ve made the move and have initiated conversation with someone, subtle touching is a huge cue for interest and attraction. The other person obviously feels comfortable around you and naturally feels compelled to touch you.Subtle touches to your arm or shoulder in a playful way are a means to break down physical boundaries, so take that as a great sign! Don’t let the moment pass either, basic reciprocation is definitely something she’s encouraging you to do so she knows you feel the same level of interest.
#4 – Shying away from you
What it means: “Sorry buddy, I’m just not that into you.”
On the opposite side of the spectrum, you want to be conscious of ways she may react that could indicate that she’s not really feeling it. Turning away or looking away as you initiate contact and interest could mean she’s not interested and doesn’t feel that level of comfort around you in order to reciprocate. It doesn’t mean she’s feeling negative, just that she isn’t romantically interested. If that happens, don’t worry, simply politely move on like the gentleman you are, there are plenty of other women out there.
#5 – Smiling with no teeth showing
What it means: “I’m bored and humoring you.”
Obviously big smiles mean good things, but sometimes it’s more about a person still feeling unsure but wanting to remain polite. If you’re getting smiles but they don’t seem to be of the obvious variety it probably means you’re on the right track but you’ve still got some work to do in terms of making her feel comfortable and interested. Change up the topic and see if she still keeps giving you this type of smile. If this goes on long enough, it’s not a good sign.
#6 – Arms folded and touching biceps
What it means: “I don’t want to talk you at all.”
Again, arms crossed is a pretty obvious sign things aren’t going well but if she’s got her hands touching her biceps she’s definitely feeling a lot of discomfort, displeasure, or is upset. Take this as a sign that it may be time to end the conversation or address what’s going on directly but sensitively. Who knows, maybe it was an inadvertent mistake on your part or there’s something going on that’s unrelated to you entirely.Be compassionate and upfront, you never really know what’s going on until you ask. Alternatively, if it’s obvious she’s not in a good place it may not be worth your time, and as we said before, there are plenty of other wonderful people out there.
Whether you know it or not, you there are some things you may (or may not) be doing that have a profound effect on how women respond to you. In fact, you may be rejecting or turning off women in a big way, even before you’ve had a chance to get to know or even talk to them. Which mistakes are you making? Check out these 10 ways you’re rejecting women without even knowing it!
10. Not looking or smelling clean
It may go without saying but it still bears repeating. Dirty fingernails, unkempt hair, bad breath, wrinkled, ill-fitting clothing and even too much cologne can all kill any chance you have with the opposite sex before you even say a word.
9. Poor table manners and etiquette
It’s pretty simple really, a lack of manners is a huge turn-off. Not waiting for others to be served before eating, talking with your mouth full, and a general lack of respect for others demonstrates how little you care about the world around you, and the people in it.
8. Lack of eye contact
Eye contact is a huge indicator of confidence and respect, plus it’s just awkward when your eyes are wandering. If you’re on the shy side it may take some practice to be comfortable with making eye contact but trust me, it’s worth doing what it takes to improve your skills.
7. Bad body language
Stand-offish body language or unwelcoming expressions can just make someone feel uncomfortable and unwanted so be mindful of things like crossing your arms, how you hold yourself, sitting or standing. Don’t be afraid to smile, it goes a long way in making people feel comfortable and attracted to you.
6. Poor conversation skills
Interrupting, being combative or overly aggressive just makes anyone your speaking with feel defensive and nervous, so make sure you’re relaxed and friendly, no matter how passionate you get about a subject. It’s also important to consider how you start and end a conversation too, it’s easy to shoot yourself in the foot if you’re not careful.
5. Inappropriate conversations
Tact is an important and subtle thing, so know your surroundings and the situation. Being overtly sexual, talking about exes, talking down to people, excessive boasting or talking about yourself too much are major negatives and no woman wants to hear it. For more advice, check out my piece on things you should never say to a woman.
4. Uncomfortably cheap
Look, being strict about a budget and financially responsible is a great thing but pushing it too far, especially around others can make you look bad and force others into situations they don’t want to be in.
3. Lack of punctuality
Sure, we all have our moments of lateness but there’s no quicker way to make someone feel disrespected than to be excessively late or not care about timeframes. Plus, all it takes is a simple, genuine apology if you are late to let someone know you aren’t totally self-centered.
2. Sending the wrong message
If you’re interested in the woman, ask her about herself. Then if things go well, be a man and ask her if she’d like to have a drink or dinner with you. Playing games, trying to be too cool, or not being straightforward, these things aren’t attractive in any way and just let her know you’re not someone worth spending time with.
1. Negging
Any woman with half a brain sees this amateur move a mile away and immediately writes a guy off for an easy rejection. As we mentioned previously, being genuine and straightforward lets her know you’re a confident gentleman, not a game-player.
The good news is, many of these are easy to fix, so take honest stock of yourself and interact with women. It doesn’t hurt to ask someone you trust for some feedback too. Like many other situations in life, good things come from caring about some of the most simple things.
Aaron over at AlphaM had a video about this topic that was pretty accurate (watch here: https://youtu.be/iq7mFtmKV), but there were a few things that he missed, so I thought it would be fun to give a women’s perspective on this topic, as well.
5. Being a tough guy
Somehow men have this notion that they’re not supposed to show any kind of emotion of vulnerability. That’s unrealistic and you’re not a human if you’re like that. Women want to see some emotion and sensitivity – that makes you normal and we actually feel closer to you when you can let your guard down around us.
4. Always Wined & Dined
Sure, every woman loves to be taken to a nice dinner, but not all the time. We would much rather have a fun, creative experience, where we can both have a great time together and enjoy each other’s company. From a homemade meal, to a little hole-in-the wall joint, to a taco truck – those are some of my more memorable meals/dates. I love all the amazing restaurants my fiance has taken me too, but the memories that have stuck with me, for instance, are the times he would take me to our favorite taco truck and then grab Oreo shakes afterwards at Frosty Freeze. Total cost – $10.
3. Status Symbols
Your job title, car, where you live – you don’t need to impress women by upselling yourself. We’ll find out pretty quickly that you wasted all your money on that nice car to impress us when I meet your 10 other roommates. Don’t be that guy. It’s kind of sad and pathetic and makes us think much less of you if you assume this is what matters to us. Do the best with what you have and don’t be ashamed of it. Honesty goes a lot further than some shiny car. Women also highly value a man who has a strong work ethic, drive and passion to get to wherever it is he wants to be in life, as well.
2. Height
You don’t need to be tall to get our attention. Women don’t care about your height as much as you think. If it’s not an issue for you, it’s not an issue for a woman. Your personality, confidence, and overall put-together, groomed appearance are way more important than how tall you are.
1. Money
It’s such a lame excuse that men who aren’t having success in the women department like to use. We all make our own money these days, so don’t think that women care that much about it, because we don’t. I can tell you that it’s actually a huge turnoff if if all a man cares about is money and it consumes him and his personality. If your entire motivation in life is to make an extra buck, and that’s it, then that gets old real quick.
I see so many lists of men telling other men the signs a woman gives when she likes you. Some of it is true, and some of it is completely wrong. A BIG one on these lists is when men say that if a woman gives you a compliment, then that means she like you. That is NOT the case at all and it’s so freaking annoying! A woman compliments your shirt because she just actually likes your shirt! That’s it.
So I polled all my female friends and came up with an actual list of 6 signs a woman will give when she’s truly into you.
1. Plays with her hair
This is a flirtation tactic women love to use. Most times it’s out of nervousness, which is a great sign. Women don’t get nervous around people they’re not interested in.
2. Finds an excuse to touch you
The touch is everything! This instantly means she likes you.
3. Laughs a lot
Whether it’s at a joke or just throughout the conversation.
4. Smiles throughout conversation
This shows that she’s engaged and having a great time.
5. Answers texts promptly
Again, this shows she’s engaged and digging you.
6. Makes time for you
Regardless of whether she’s busy or not, if she still finds time to fit you in and make plans – she definitely likes you.
My sister, Scarlett, and I talk about the 8 Things You Should Never Say To Women, unless, of course, you want to be in hot water, ignored or made fun of later with our girlfriends. And these apply to men no matter your relationship status, so if you’re married, single, in a relationship, pansexual, asexual, etc. just don’t say these things to any of the girls in your life. Thanks!
1. Why are you so serious?
Other similar winners: Why aren’t you smiling? or the other gem: C’mon, girl – smile for me.
Because I’m not smiling means that I’m serious?
2. You look different.
If you’d like to know what’s different, ask us something specific like, “Did you get a haircut?”. We’ll probably say no and then tell you what it is, if anything. At least then it doesn’t sound so bad.
3. Is something wrong?
Or similar questions like: Is everything okay?; Did I do something wrong?
Something is about to be wrong if you ask me that again.
4. Why are you wearing that?
Just… don’t.
5. Why won’t you talk to me?
Or the equally stupid follow-up: Am I not good enough for you?
By asking this question, you effectively just made me not want to talk to you and definitely showed yourself to not be good enough for me.
6. Are you having fun?
AKA: You don’t look like you’re having a good time; Why are you so quiet?
This question just killed any fun I was having. Thanks!
7. You look stressed.
Alternates: You look tired; You look upset.
These stupid statements are stressing me out – that’s all!
8. Why’s a girl like you still single?
Or the ever-popular: Where’s your boyfriend, he doesn’t like showing you off?
Just buck up and ask if I’m single – I’ll tell you.
